About a week ago The Angriest Pharmacist posted a story about the creativity some patients had in phoning in a fake script. At the time I somewhat applauded the ingenious nature of this plan and thought that perhaps the druggies were becoming slightly more intelligent.
Ladies and Gentleman I am dismayed to inform you that I was wrong. I was very very wrong. Cuddle up next to the fire, have a warm milk toddy (does that sound dirty to anyone else) and enjoy this lovely tale.
Yesterday a gentleman... a man... this druggie comes in asking to pick up his mother's hydrocodone. We can't find it anywhere and check our signature logs and it shows that his sister was in the day before and had picked it up. He became furious and said that she was not allowed to pick up meds for his mother (they are regulars, but this was news to us.) Next he called his mother and confirmed that the daughter had never brought her the drugs. He then demanded that we fill them again since his sister picked them up. Do you want to know why?
Note: Now I have worked in pharmacy for over eight years now with half of that time being spent in the ghetto. I have been robbed, I have had things thrown at me, I have been threatened and I have had to ask a 400lb woman to exit the store because she was wearing a size small tube top and, what I hope, where short shorts but really looked like a thong. I have seen and heard damn near everything until yesterday.
His reason for wanting another refill was that his sister didn't give him his 'cut' of the tablets. Yes, he wants us to fill it again because his sister sold them and didn't give him any money. In fact he even stated that he needed to sell them to 'make some money' this weekend. Suppressing a laugh I suggested maybe he should contact his mother's doctor with that explanation and see if he could get an early refill.
And the dumbass did it. I came to work today and found out that he had called her doctor and told them the exact same story he told us. Now think about this for a moment. He asked to have pain meds filled early so he could sell them. I mean I've seen people a few fries short of a happy meal before, but this guy was missing the goddamn box the happy meal comes in.
Needless to say he did not get his early refill and I am left even more dismayed with mankind than I once was. I thought the TAestP offered a hope that maybe their intelligence was rising, but alas that hypothesis has been shot to hell. How sad.