We have a gentleman, I use this term very loosely mind you, whom is banned from virtually every other pharmacy in the city. We know this because we were the first to pass him off roughly a year and a half ago. Someone decided though that they would contact the state and have him restricted.... to my store. Whoopdy-fuckin-do.
He's one of those people who calls every five minutes. I mean literally every fucking five minutes. I counted today, he called nine times in a period of 40 minutes. A couple times I didn't even have time to walk across the pharmacy to get to the other phone before he would call again. His drug of choice?
We finally get the ok on his candy, cause he's not using it for medicated purposes, and I tell him that. He says he'll have a buddy come and pick it up for him in three minutes. Of course all the lil colorful warning lights are going off my head. With an idea, I bring up his profile and see he has not signed a HIPAA form.
Gladly I tell him that until he signs this form no one else will be eligible to pick up his prescriptions (i.e. we waive our rights of responsibility). He goes he just had 3 vertebra crushed in an accident and is stuck in a wheelchair. I could smell the bullshit through the phone. I proceeded to tell him that I would gladly bring the form out to his car to have him sign. He mutters something and hangs up.
82 seconds later (yes, I counted) he walks in the door. Praise Jesus, Allah, the flying-spaghetti-monster or whatever you believe in, as this was a miracle. He went in the space of less then a minute and a half from being wheelchair ridden to being able to walk. You don't even see this shit on televangelists shows.
I think I was close to God today... or maybe it was just the tramadol in the air...
With a capital E
13 hours ago