We all hear it every single day. It is now as consistent as insurance rejects, early fills on hydrocodone and the inability to find time to pee on a daily basis. I am, of course, talking about a proud patient proclaiming they have swine flu.
What in the hell is with people? They wear this fact almost as if it is some sort of proud accomplishment. I bet you we're within one month of someone selling "I've had swine flu" t-shirts to all the survivors.
Yes, that's right I called them survivors. You know why? Because I have had no less than a dozen people in the past two weeks refer to themselves as survivors of swine flu.
Whoopdy fuckin' do.
The weirdest thing is they'll tell anyone within ear shot. "Did you know my doctor confirmed that I have swine flu yesterday?" As if people aren't panicky enough as it is. I just simply do not understand it.
Where are the people going, "Did you know my doctor confirmed I contracted genital herpes yesterday?" or "Did you know my doctor confirmed I have Stage III lymphoma?"
You know why people don't share this kind of information? Because it's not a fucking good thing you have this disease/disorder/infection/etc. You shouldn't be proud of it. If you are, you are a fucking imbecile.
Next time someone walks up to me smiling saying that they just found out they have swine flu, I'm liable to punch them in the face. Maybe a case of epistaxis (ya know, since it sounds cooler) will supersede the excitement from swine flu.
At least they won't make shirts about that one.