Friday, October 23, 2009

Why Isn't There A Merit Badge for Swine Flu?

We all hear it every single day. It is now as consistent as insurance rejects, early fills on hydrocodone and the inability to find time to pee on a daily basis. I am, of course, talking about a proud patient proclaiming they have swine flu.

What in the hell is with people? They wear this fact almost as if it is some sort of proud accomplishment. I bet you we're within one month of someone selling "I've had swine flu" t-shirts to all the survivors.

Yes, that's right I called them survivors. You know why? Because I have had no less than a dozen people in the past two weeks refer to themselves as survivors of swine flu.

Whoopdy fuckin' do.

The weirdest thing is they'll tell anyone within ear shot. "Did you know my doctor confirmed that I have swine flu yesterday?" As if people aren't panicky enough as it is. I just simply do not understand it.

Where are the people going, "Did you know my doctor confirmed I contracted genital herpes yesterday?" or "Did you know my doctor confirmed I have Stage III lymphoma?"

You know why people don't share this kind of information? Because it's not a fucking good thing you have this disease/disorder/infection/etc. You shouldn't be proud of it. If you are, you are a fucking imbecile.

Next time someone walks up to me smiling saying that they just found out they have swine flu, I'm liable to punch them in the face. Maybe a case of epistaxis (ya know, since it sounds cooler) will supersede the excitement from swine flu.

At least they won't make shirts about that one.


Mal said...

If they have flu, any flu, I wish they'd stay at home, and not bring their flu out to spread to the rest of us. Bloody plague carriers.

I would give them the 'Inconsiderate germ-ridden bastard' merit badge.

BigEvilRx said...

It's arrived at the point where everybody thinks they are superstars, I'm afraid. All are lost in a world of their own, and think that all they do is being watched by those insignificant around them. That is, unfortunately, the society we have grown in to be. Everybody is looking for respect, and for people to ogle at them. Count how many times someone interrupts you as your talking during a conversation when you don't know them (totally different when you are friends).

I think you see a majority of these people @ the pharmacy because they are the attention whores. If you are not old, on maintenance drugs, birth control, or genuinely have a debilitating disease I would assume you are there because you think a pill will correct mistakes you yourself won't admit is not true.

Not sure if all that makes sense, but yes, like people who complain that they've been in the store for over an hour waiting, when you tell them an hour and a half.

Don't give me that bullshit that why do you guys have long wait times, and my little pharmacy always has 30 minute wait times. Try one week in a chain pharmacy. People are rude, expect you to fill it then and there, and generally are the scum of the earth (especially at wal-mart) That's why we cherish the nice ones.

Anyways, great post! I am agreeable on all points.