Weekend on call
4 hours ago
Nurse Ratchet: Ok, so do you have a Di-O-Van-uh 80mg on your list?
Me: Yes, we have a Diovan 80mg which was last filled on 6/18/09
Nurse: Ok... so do you take that like everyday?
Me: (No, it's just whenever you feel like it. Not like its an important drug) Yes, the directions are one tablet daily
Nurse: What about hydrozine 25mg?
Me: Do you mean HydrOXYzine 25mg or HydrALAzine 25mg?
Nurse: Um... I dunno, aren't they the same?
Me: Well Hydroxyzine is an antihistamine while Hydralazine is a vasodilator
Nurse: I see... well let's go with Hydroxyzine
Me: (Let's go with? Are you serious? Do you not understand that these are not even remotely in the same area code)
Me: I also I have a recurring Rx for Darvocet on file
Nurse: Oh ok, what strength
Me: 100/650mg Tablets
Nurse: 100/650mg? There's two?
Me: No, there's 100mg of Propoxyphene and 650mg of Acetaminophen
Nurse: Oh ok. So do you take that orally?
Me: Yes (What else would you do, shove the tablets up your ass? Although your shit may come out bright pink...)
Me: The doctor also updated her Metformin 500mg and changed it to Metformin XR 500mg last month
Nurse: Metformin XR... so that's the same isn't it?
Me: No, it's the extended release version
Nurse: Ok, so the directions are like what, four times a day?
Me: No... just twice daily (With all of the diabetics out there, how do you not know Metformin XR dosing?)
I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant is a compelling series that explores the fascinating and utterly surprising phenomenon of women who were completely unaware that they were pregnant...until they went into labor!
From the bathroom floor to a North Woods cabin or from a bridal shower turned baby shower, I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant will take you into the intense and potentially life-threatening true stories of surprise births. Through reenactments backed up with patient and expert interviews that help shed light on this unique phenomenon, the program will address the many dangers that can be present for both mom and baby. From women who had no pre-natal care and smoked cigarettes, to those who rode bikes in dangerous terrain, they all have one thing in common—sudden labor pains and a baby! One woman even gets the surprise of her life when she unknowingly gives birth to twins!
It's called Jenkem and originated in Africa.
It's a homemade substance actually made from human sewage. Kids take feces and urine and put it into a bottle or jar, then cover it with a balloon. The containers put in a sunny area for a couple days until fermented. The sewage releases a gas, captured in the balloon that kids later inhale.
It's said to give off a euphoric feeling and some start hallucinating.
Authorities are now warning parents to keep an eye out.
Patient #1 calls in asking about the status of her faxed refill. I mention that we haven't heard back yet. She then goes, but I only have eight tablets left and I'll be out for tomorrow! Looking down I see the directions state 1 Tablet Twice Daily. Ok.....
Patient #2 comes in asking if her insurance is active yet (of course its a Medicaid patient). I check and say no. She then goes, verbatim, "Can't you like... just give it to me and stuff? And then like maybe like have my insurance pay for it later?
When I mention we need to ensure we're going to get paid for the med, she looked at me in the eyes (well her's were a bit on the glazed side) and asked, "Ohhhhh....Why?"
Patient #3 starts screaming that we didn't fill his insulin like he asked and we are trying to kill him. I asked him when he called it and he replied last night. Realizing I talked to him, I reply back "Last night you only asked if we carried Speghettios...."
Patient #4 calls in, "Yea I need to check on my script before you close in a bit here." Puzzled I ask back "You do realize we close at 7pm and it is currently a quarter after 1..."