We choose to eat a low fat salad for lunch. We choose to drive just a little slower on the freeway after a scare.We choose to go for that three mile run when all we want is to drink a beer on the couch.
Jusitifying it as a desire for "healthy living" we go about our lives without acknowledging that what we are really doing is avoiding the inevitable for just a little while longer. Each person has a differing reason for following such a winding, and often difficult, path.
Many years ago I realized I didn't want to just live my life as a mindless drone in a dead-end job. I did not want to be the person who merely went through the motions of bringing home a check, driving the kids to soccer practice and then hit repeat every day. I wanted to do something different, something unique, something... special.
It is one of the reasons I chose pharmacy. Hell, it is one of the reasons this site exists.
I have few selfish desires in my daily life. I put the vast majority of free energy towards my wife and son because... well they deserve it. For many years my main daily goal has been to make people happy. For my wife it may be a simple massage at the end of a long day, for family and friends it is my intentionally hilarious comments on Facebook or Twitter.
Ultimately though I begin wonder if I will be remembered.
I have always wanted to do something truly great, something that makes people step back and be amazed. I always said one of my goal's in pharmacy was to change the world in some way before my time was done. How I will accomplish this remains a mystery, yet a part of me feels that this particular time will come.
Yet a small part of this desire was born in spite. Far too many times in my life, especially my "school yard" days, I was dismissed or told I would not amount to much. Since that time I have always been driven to not only prove them wrong, but to make them feel humble in their judgements.
As the years have worn on and I have continued on this process, my ultimate desires have become more personal. Today I would be very content just knowing my son, wife and family were proud of me. Everything else is secondary to this point.
And yet, there is still that desire to attain greatness... the ability to look back on my life many decades from now and smile knowing that I am going to leave this world a better place.
I guess the ultimate question is... Will you remember me?